Enough with These Questions!

I know people mean no harm and only speak from what they Google what honneeyyy let me tell you something some of these questions are getting out of hand! Lena Dunham is a television actress that has Endometriosis. Because of her symptoms and stage of endo, she was given a hysterectomy. She made a post that broke my heart and made me say enough is enough! It is questions that people with illnesses or pain in general are asked all of the time. This has to STOP! We need your support not constant try this try that just because you saw it on Google!


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Yesterday I had a two hour surgery to remove my left ovary, which was encased in scar tissue & fibrosis, attached to my bowel and pressing on nerves that made it kinda hard to walk/pee/vamp. Over the last month it got worse and worse until I was simply a burrito posing as a human. *** My mother took this picture after I spent 9 hours in the post op recovery area with v low blood pressure that the nurses were diligently monitoring. I was so out of it that I thought I looked sensually moody a la Charlotte Rampling (turns out it was more of a constipation vibe.) *** A lot of people commented on my last post about being too sick to finish promoting my show by saying my hysterectomy should have fixed it (I mean *should* is a weird one). That I should get acupuncture and take supplements (I do). That I should see a therapist because it’s clearly psychological (year 25 of therapy, y’all. These are the fruits!) But a big lesson I’ve learned in all of this is that health, like most stuff, isn’t linear- things improve and things falter and you start living off only cranberry juice from a sippy cup/sleeping on a glorified heating pad but you’re also happier than you’ve been in years. I feel blessed creatively and tickled by my new and improved bellybutton and so so so lucky to have health insurance as well as money for care that is off of my plan. But I’m simultaneously shocked by what my body is and isn’t doing for me and red with rage that access to medical care is a privilege and not a right in this country and that women have to work extra hard just to prove what we already know about our own bodies and beg for what we need to be well. It’s humiliating. *** My health not being a given has paid spiritual dividends I could never have predicted and it’s opened me up in wild ways and it’s given me a mission: to advocate for those of us who live at the cross section of physical and physic pain, to remind women that our stories don’t have to look one way, our pain is our gain and oh shit scars and mesh “panties” are the fucking jam. Join me, won’t you? *** 📷 @lauriesimmons

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  1. STOP asking if we have tried yoga, acupuncture, therapy, etc! What works for one person does NOT work for every single person. As I have said before just because two people have the same condition does not mean that the same treatment will work for both! Each individual is different and may have already tried something you named already.
  2. STOP asking women when they are going to have children. Mannnnn look! Just because a women is “of age” to have children or married doesn’t mean she can. It is 23+ year old women out here that have had a hystorectomy. It is something people don’t just open up to the world and say. It can be hard to deal with. Even if someone has not had a hystorectomy does not mean she is actively trying to get pregnant. This question can be hard.
  3. STOP asking if someone is pregnant. Chronic Illness or not that is RUDE! Someone I know asked me “Are you pregnant or did you get thick on your own?” Keep in mind this was only a week after I had just had my diagnositic surgery. Being put into a menopause right before that I had surgey made me gain weight as well. I wanted to snap back and act a fool but I said you know what let me educate instead.
  4. This question has been asked to me personally and I nearly snapped. “Why don’t you just get a hystorectomy?” A HYSTORECTOMY IS NOT A CURE! First of all ma’am or sir I am 22 years old. What on this green earth makes you think I want a hysto? Huh please explain that to me! Estrogen is the leading thing endometriosis feeds off of and guess what just because all of your reproductive oragans have been removed doesn’t mean it has nothing to attach to!
  5. Why are you so lazy? Why are you always in the bed? EXUSE THE HECK OUT OF YOU! We aren’t lazy. It is called being tired and exhaused after moving around, cleaning, cooking, going to school, work, etc. Chronic Illnesses can put stress on your body. Pain takes a lot out of anyone no matter the amount. Heachaches can take someone’s day away. Don’t call someone lazy because you do not understand what he or she is going through.

What questions irritate you the most? What statements annoy you? Lets chat in the comments!

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2 thoughts on “Enough with These Questions!

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    1. Thank you for reading. Google can’t be anyones main source of education on conditions doctors don’t even understand. It isn’t always a reliable source. It is up to us with the conditions to speak on the facts being we are the ones dealing with it 💛

      Liked by 1 person

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