The Diagnosis

It feels good to know the pain isn’t in your head and something really is wrong. It would be better if the words, there is a cure followed. It was satisfying knowing the pain I was feeling wasn’t normal as I suspected. The tough part was there is no cure. There are only band-aids and temporary fixes. Doctors can only do so much and only know so much. The fertility doctor who did my surgery told me there was nothing more he could do for me. I kept being told you have fibromyalgia. What is that anyway? None of my doctors have been able to tell me anything besides it causes overactive nerves a ton of other things oh and last but not least there is no cure for it either. 🙃

Getting a diagnosis can be a long road full of tears, anger, and frustration. The consistent doctors’ visits and the uncertainties were becoming bothersome. Because of this, I was taking a great deal of pain medication. It was to the point that I can no longer take it now. After my surgery, I was given ten different narcotics and I still went home in pain. I opted out of taking pain medication on my own because it began to affect my mental state. I would become drowsy, loopy, and annoyed very easily. Another thing that made me stop is the fact I felt intoxicated. I was going to school out of it not even being able to focus. What was the point of me being there? At the end of the day pain medication of any strength or kind touches my pain.

My diagnosis has given me a sense of peace simply because I know I am not crazy. Side note a doctor basically did call me crazy. It just sucks that 1 in 10 women have something and there is really nothing that can really help besides repeat surgeries that do not guarantee a change. People may think of the surgery, pain medication, birth control pills or Lupron made things all better. When I say something about the pain I feel like a burden. I feel like I shouldn’t say anything because these things are supposed to make me feel “better.”

Getting a diagnosis changes everything. The multiple treatments, however, makes everything much harder sometimes…

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3 thoughts on “The Diagnosis

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  1. Yh i really hope that any girls that has doubts of being ill sees this! Extreme pain isnt normal, heavy long period isnt normal, dont let doctors underestimate your pain! And fight until getting a diagnosis! Thank you for sharing your story!

    Liked by 1 person

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