Scientific studies have been conducted on the way endometriosis affects the brain. I personally have suffered from depression and gain anxiety over the years. I have been able to notice the mental changes it was causing me to have. I have become harder on myself and down myself a great deal. That is something that is hard to admit, but it is my truth. I feel like a burden on everyone around me and feel like my pain and mental state has heavily had an effect on my relationships. That’s with family, friends, my significant other, outsiders, etc. I have become more prone to crying about any and everything. I take everything to heart and personally when I shouldn’t.
The main thing it does to the brain is cause depression and anxiety. I for a very long time was afraid no one would support me. I thought the world was against me and I would be writing these blogs and talking to myself. One of these main and honest reasons I haven’t started my Youtube channel is because I am afraid to fail. I am afraid that people won’t like my voice, people won’t want to watch me. I have to snap myself out of that and realize I won’t know until I try. I won’t know until I actually try.
When I was first diagnosed my mom told me my purpose is to tell my story. That could mean writing a book, a blog, post videos, anything. Time went on and my significant other started to tell me the same thing. It took me a while to start my blog altogether because I was constantly doubting myself. I took a social media class in college and had to write a blog about something I am interested in and passionate about. Well, as you know I chose endo.
I am doing things to distract myself such as blogging when I think of something, creating an Instagram for my blogs, getting things set up for my YouTube channel, coloring or posting more on my Facebook like page. Outside things include coloring, spending time with family, talking to my significant other, going on dates, watching my favorite YouTubers or singing to the top of my lungs even though I can’t. I am doing my best to overcome my feelings about myself and my life. It was a journey. It has been a struggle being that I haven’t been able to eat much. Matter of fact, I was two seconds from having an anxiety attack just because I looked into the refrigerator…